Saturday, December 25, 2010

balancing series...

Before I left for India I was the master at the balancing asanas in yoga. Whether it be toppling tree, dancers pose or eagle pose, I had it in the bag! Zero struggle. I found freedom and elegance in my insane sweating and concentrated breathing.

And now, they are my most difficult and clumsy moments in yoga. and I think, no, I KNOW it is because I am not in balance in life.
Isn't it?

Being home is wonderful. I am enjoying going to the movies with my friends, I am loving all the auntie Bibi time, love eating my mothers food. A full fridge, bubbly water, purring feline, cheese. My duvet and mushy pillows. Polka dot sheets. Listening to conversations and understanding: what a treat! Now I talk to people like Indians talk to me. I am too friendly, only! I have to stop myself from asking complete strangers their good name, if they are married, if they have children..  I have to remind myself not to throw wrappers on the floor! What a concept- there I was in India, getting mad at my neighbour for littering, telling them to keep their India beautiful, and here I am in Montreal, having to literally tell myself  'put the wrapper in your handbag B, gee.'

But sleep time tells a different story. I dream of strange people I've never met and long never ending corridors in India. I wake up dry and hot from the central heating with a cat that never ceases to purr. I spend my days planning my next move instead of writing lesson plans, I went from dorm life to living with my mother. Employed to unemployed. Dreaming about cheese to gorging on it non-stop.

Balancing act.
Disorder. Stability. 
Chaos. Focus.
Love. Aversion.
Slavery. Freedom

Agh! my posts are getting worse and worse. Sure sign I need to keep moving..
I'll be traveling to Ottawa next week and then British Columbia .
I am contemplating doing a 10 day silent meditation. Also I am reading my friends manuscript on Sex. He wants my input. Nice.
So, my cherished reader.. I'll write about Sex!
!Hmpf!- who needs balance? ..........

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