Friday, May 15, 2015

A beginning

As some of my former Dolce Vita followers witnessed, living in India opened me in a wonderfully wordy way- I had so much to say there, and a lot of time to say it. Choosing to begin my weekdays at 5:30 and then again at the same time in the afternoon, all I basically did was practice yoga, drink oceans of chai, eat a mountain of samosas, teach grade 1 (wow they were cute), teach a social skills program (gee whiz I learned a lot), and blog.  Blog about observing a place ablaze with colour and odor... in love with malas and saris, dupattas, and the clang clang jingle jangle of bejeweled wrists… sigh… head bob.

But now, I am in Nigeria, and I have nothing to say. Well no, I have tons to say. Yet. Yet I can’t harness the passion to share with others how I feel about working here. Gripped with guilt about not really jiving with my second West African experience; riddled with insecurities of sounding unoriginal; racist; and worst of all- cold hearted and unfair. Working in Nigeria has awakened a dormant self I am grateful to meet face-to-face, with all her trepidation and ugly truth. I met a side of me that comes to terms with LIFE. Life can suck. People can suck and can be content doing the minimum, all the while chortling to themselves and their neighbour, feeling mighty superior in giving their very least and getting away with it. And with this dawning came a clawing, hungry desire to better myself; raise my standards; give my 100% and, actually Do Everything With Love. (Oh- and to find true balance by mastering the blasted HANDSTAND!) I have upped my game. Being satisfied with my less than perfect work self is gone. (I am not a perfectionist, I actually believe perfectionism is a waste of time. Yet you can strive to DO your best WITHOUT agonizing over every detail or turn perfectionism into procrastination… but I digress) Now a striving, strong, and ever smiling B lives in my heart and head; knowing that a life well lived is a life where you go to bed properly knackered, sandwiched between your loving partner and a soft scruffy scrappy pup pup with the faith that you DID. YOUR. BEST.

With my Nigerian time coming to a close, my stomach grumbles with appetite to write.