In vain I attempted to reconnect with the lover, with the spark and with the vivacity I was drawn to in the first place. But, alas, dear friends, I could not touch what I had before. I don't want to spend too long on this post, since I have already consumed too much energy on this happening as it is. But I want to conclude and say goodbye to the fat pants buried in the entrails of my closet; I don't foresee them fitting once more. Good riddance.
What irritates me is my profound determined and persistent nature to get back what I once felt, what I once thought I had, when really, what's done CANNOT be undone. The impermanence of things and life is a reality, indeed.
So, this colossal waste of time wasn't really so. The lesson learned will show its face later I presume...
Until then, it feels awesome to throw out the stretched-out slacks and make room for more saris.